Circles, BNFs and Cool Kids.
Oct. 27th, 2006 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stevieannieIt's an interesting set of discussions that have recently appeared all over LJ and my Flist. They aren't all extensions of the same discussion that almeda started, but many of them do bisect in differing places, enough to make me sit back and think about my place in all of this.
It would be naive to claim that there are no Big Name Filkers/Fen. Of course there are. Perceptions of this change from person to person (one of the things covered very nicely by almeda's original post). And usually, whatever false modesty tells you, you know if you're one. I should say, at this point, that the "Oh Woe Is Me, I don't care what anyone says, nobody likes me. And besides which, I'm off to the worm-eating contest" comments really aren't working for me, either.
Of course there are some people who get more attention than others. This is a community based around music, and some people are more proficient than others. Usually, those who get the attention, and are the most "popular", are those whose musical skills are more advanced than others. It isn't some kind of magical formula, and 9/10 times, any perception of confidence is a well-practised performance angle. The fact that some people get more attention than others is indisputable. What I take exception with is the perception that a BNF is "above" friendship with other, lesser, mortals.
What a crock.
I've spent a lot of my performance time in filk playing in various bands. This gives an impression of popularity. Don't ask me why, I haven't the foggiest idea - I wonder if it might have something to do with the populace seeing that I already have 4 friends/band-members, so obviously don't have a bad BO problem or something... Has this popularity brought me untold riches and the ability to pick and choose friends at will? Hah! It has actually been far more effective in making new people ignore me as "snooty" (err... I think you'll find that was actually "shy") or "too popular to be interested in me" (HUH????). Whilst guesting at conventions I have mostly found that the only people I could successfully network with were those who would play and sing with me, as that was when the barriers of perception got brought down. And those people were mostly those who had a certain level of musical proficiency, because they weren't scared of what I could do, as they could generally knock my skills into a cocked hat.
I've tried really hard to make friends with the listeners and the quiet ones, but often found them unwilling to talk to me. It's a bit depressing, frankly, and makes one wander off, sniffing one's armpits in concern.
I'm not a BNF (if I ever was) anymore - I've got kids now and the band that I got most exposure with (in every sense of the word) in the filk community is on a hiatus at the moment for that same reason. By the time I get back into active performing, no-one is going to be very interested in my midriff anymore, whether or not it is clad in black leather or homeknitted woolly jumpers. Hopefully, this now renders me as non-scary to all those people who I wish I could make friends with, but hurry away in the opposite direction when I approach.
Or maybe I really DO have personal hygiene issues...
And as for circles and how to make them even - I don't think it's about an even sprinkling of great performers throughout the various rooms. I think it is far more about everyone involved being aware of the effect of their material on the energy of a circle. I think I can quite honestly say that I've never deserted a circle because of the offer of a better performer next door. I HAVE, however, deserted a circle because of a vast number of poorly performed, dirgy and interminable songs bringing down the energy of the circle to the point where I was falling asleep. And when I say "poorly performed" I am not referring to the pitch or rhythm or technical expertise of the musician involved. I am talking about mumbling into lyrics, not knowing how to chord on the guitar, song choice or not knowing when to stop. I can't be the only one who finds it difficult to stay awake during an 11 minute song with two chords and incredibly indistinct lyrics at 3am in the morning.
Having said all this, my experience of US cons is very limited. Maybe this only applies to the UK filkcons, FilkContinental, GAFilk and FKO, as those are the only cons I've been to.
It would be naive to claim that there are no Big Name Filkers/Fen. Of course there are. Perceptions of this change from person to person (one of the things covered very nicely by almeda's original post). And usually, whatever false modesty tells you, you know if you're one. I should say, at this point, that the "Oh Woe Is Me, I don't care what anyone says, nobody likes me. And besides which, I'm off to the worm-eating contest" comments really aren't working for me, either.
Of course there are some people who get more attention than others. This is a community based around music, and some people are more proficient than others. Usually, those who get the attention, and are the most "popular", are those whose musical skills are more advanced than others. It isn't some kind of magical formula, and 9/10 times, any perception of confidence is a well-practised performance angle. The fact that some people get more attention than others is indisputable. What I take exception with is the perception that a BNF is "above" friendship with other, lesser, mortals.
What a crock.
I've spent a lot of my performance time in filk playing in various bands. This gives an impression of popularity. Don't ask me why, I haven't the foggiest idea - I wonder if it might have something to do with the populace seeing that I already have 4 friends/band-members, so obviously don't have a bad BO problem or something... Has this popularity brought me untold riches and the ability to pick and choose friends at will? Hah! It has actually been far more effective in making new people ignore me as "snooty" (err... I think you'll find that was actually "shy") or "too popular to be interested in me" (HUH????). Whilst guesting at conventions I have mostly found that the only people I could successfully network with were those who would play and sing with me, as that was when the barriers of perception got brought down. And those people were mostly those who had a certain level of musical proficiency, because they weren't scared of what I could do, as they could generally knock my skills into a cocked hat.
I've tried really hard to make friends with the listeners and the quiet ones, but often found them unwilling to talk to me. It's a bit depressing, frankly, and makes one wander off, sniffing one's armpits in concern.
I'm not a BNF (if I ever was) anymore - I've got kids now and the band that I got most exposure with (in every sense of the word) in the filk community is on a hiatus at the moment for that same reason. By the time I get back into active performing, no-one is going to be very interested in my midriff anymore, whether or not it is clad in black leather or homeknitted woolly jumpers. Hopefully, this now renders me as non-scary to all those people who I wish I could make friends with, but hurry away in the opposite direction when I approach.
Or maybe I really DO have personal hygiene issues...
And as for circles and how to make them even - I don't think it's about an even sprinkling of great performers throughout the various rooms. I think it is far more about everyone involved being aware of the effect of their material on the energy of a circle. I think I can quite honestly say that I've never deserted a circle because of the offer of a better performer next door. I HAVE, however, deserted a circle because of a vast number of poorly performed, dirgy and interminable songs bringing down the energy of the circle to the point where I was falling asleep. And when I say "poorly performed" I am not referring to the pitch or rhythm or technical expertise of the musician involved. I am talking about mumbling into lyrics, not knowing how to chord on the guitar, song choice or not knowing when to stop. I can't be the only one who finds it difficult to stay awake during an 11 minute song with two chords and incredibly indistinct lyrics at 3am in the morning.
Having said all this, my experience of US cons is very limited. Maybe this only applies to the UK filkcons, FilkContinental, GAFilk and FKO, as those are the only cons I've been to.
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 05:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 06:36 pm (UTC)Ah. Yes. Looks like filkcons are another place mostly populated by the shy and the somewhat geeky; I should imagine sci-fi can be a bit the same. People's self-defence mechanisms are a wonderful thing; spend enough time being pushed away by the popular kids, and you become someone who pushes popular kids away automatically. And never really get enough insight into these people they so carefully shut themselves away from to learn what you already know: that what you perceive a person to be like has far more to do with you than with what they *are* like.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 06:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 07:15 pm (UTC)Today? Dribbling old fart :-) (And pretty happy about it, too!)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 07:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 08:05 pm (UTC)Agreed, on all points. Most of the BNFs I think of in UK / European filk aren't that just for their music, and certainly not just for their current music. Look at the people who get into the Filk Hall of Fame, there are quite a few who are not known for their musical abilities but for being "important people" in the filking community. People "just do the songbook" *g*. Herders of Flying Cheshire Cats. Herders of not-flying-yet Cheshire kittens.
But also in UK/Euro filking we don't seem to have this "cult of the cool" which some people are describing. We get positively embarassed if some newbie gets all fangirlish or fanboyish about us (or for that matter about anyone else). And a large number of the BNFs here seem to go out of their way to welcome people, to ask them to play along, etc. Oh, they can't do it all the time, of course they have their own friends, but they do it often enough that any charges of elitism just don't wash for long.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 06:47 pm (UTC)Frankly, I still don't have a clue if I'm one or not. Maybe that means I'm not. I'm not sure I actually *care* by this point, either; in UK filk I found that it didn't much matter who the BNFs were because, well, the scene was small enough that you knew everyone. I liked that better. *grin*
I should say, at this point, that the "Oh Woe Is Me, I don't care what anyone says, nobody likes me. And besides which, I'm off to the worm-eating contest" comments really aren't working for me, either.
Fair enough. That's not what I, at least, intended to be conveying; I was more just grumpy about things and venting. I do think that lots of people like me. And I like them. I just was grumping. So hopefully I didn't upset you too much with my grumping. *hug*
no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 07:14 pm (UTC)You had a grump. Other people have been having Pity-Parties with printed invites and customised decor... I've had grumps over non-enjoyable cons myself - in fact my last two UK cons have been very much like that, to the point where I'm considering whether next year is a good or a bad bet. It's a lot of money that I can't really afford.
If my definition of what I consider a BNF is right, then yeah, you fall in my category: I love to listen to you, and you've never made me drop off to sleep at 3am ;-)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-28 04:28 am (UTC)But I'm glad to know that we're...cool. Umm. That's an ironic way to phrase it, but I'm sticking with it. *grin*
(And I'm glad I haven't put you to sleep at 3 a.m., although admittedly the only lullaby I've ever written *was* written for Jared.)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 07:37 pm (UTC)You are. But, hey, that's OK :)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-27 09:54 pm (UTC)Nope, no personal hygiene issues.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-28 06:08 am (UTC)It still does.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-01 04:07 pm (UTC)As someone who is just audience I would like to say that for me you are a BNF - in the UK at least and I only say that because I have not been to FilkCons elsewhere and so cannot gauge their responses to your songs. If you and T have a concert then I opt to attend it - I did last time - as I like your songs and consider your voice to be an attractive one to listen to (especially after you have sung a couple of songs and it has warmed up properly - by the way, J has the same problem as you here). So please come to the next con and please sing us some more lovely pieces ... maybe even a few new ones.
Love and hugs - part of the audience.